Well, many of you may see this as an excuse, but nonetheless, it's my reason. I've really been trying to prioritize my time. The other day Cason was playing on his toy computer. It does some little games and allows him to feel like he's a big deal! In the middle of it, he decided he wanted to play like he was the dad. He said, "Hey daddy, I'll be the daddy. You be the little boy. Now say, 'Hey daddy'." I smiled and said, "Ok. Hey daddy." Without missing a beat, he said, "What! Baby, I'm trying to work. Hang on for a second!"
Well, right there I felt the proverbial dagger go straight through my gut. Now, he laughed and thought it was funny, but I definitely didn't. I realized that I do this. (obviously!) And I know that we often have to work and can't just drop everything. But we can make better use of our time. I haven't blogged in awhile because, I usually try to blog when I'm watching TV, kind of like I'm doing right now. (But Cason is up stairs playing his drums, so it's ok) But usually, he's right here, sitting beside me and wanting my attention. I've realized that he isn't going to be this little and want my attention forever, and I need to take advantage of it while I can. So, I'm going to try to blog more regularly, but I'm not going to do it, unless I can fit it into my daily schedule and not during my time with him and Tiffany.
This past week, I feel like God has really been speaking to me. I'm really excited about this cause I feel like it's been awhile since I've been still enough to hear Him. As usual, He found a way to get to me through a song. Hillsong's "With Everything". If you haven't heard this song, go to Itunes and download it right now! It may be the best song I've heard in a year. Thanks Jeff Bode for turning me on to it.
At the end of the song, it builds into this massive crescendo and then lets loose, full force. The first time I heard it, I got this lump in my throat and almost welled up with tears. I couldn't figure out why. Everyone knows that music can be extremely emotional. But a lot of times, we can't define why it gets to us like that. So I spent some time, looking through scriptures and analyzing the song, and praying about it. This is what I think I've found out.
In the song, the place that gets me, is when the entire group of singers stop singing words and just cry out with a melody singing, "OH.... OH, OH" (kind of hard to explain, unless you've listened to the song.... so do that!) Anyway, what I've come to realize is, sometimes when we sing, we have unbelievable words that express everything we're feeling at that time. But sometimes, there are no words. And all we have is the ability to cry out. It's at this time that I think, perhaps, we connect with God at the deepest levels. See, we may not have the words, but the Holy Spirit, living within us, has the ability to cry out to God, using our voice, what we cannot say. And when we just let go and sing the melody with an "OH....OH, OH", our hearts sing the unspoken words that the Holy Spirit then carries to our Father. In that moment, if we are focused on Him, it can be one of the most powerful experiences we can have. I truly believe this and plan on explaining this a little bit further when we teach the song at The Journey in the near future. Cause..... we are definitely doing this song! And soon.
I know that what I've just talked about may be kind of hard to grasp, but I promise you, if you pray about it and think about it, you're gonna come to the same conclusion.
Well, Cason is back from the world of pretending to be Manú Caché. (For those of you who are saying, 'Who??????', he's one of the baddest drummers God ever struck breath into! So, I'm going to go for now. I'll hopefully talk to y'all soon. Maybe we can get a little more into what I was talking about. I would really like your input. If you're reading this, please leave a comment or just tell me your thoughts.
Love you all,